So I decided that telling yall the wonderfull TV drama I see every day here would be funny and help relieve stress.

Ill probably do it over like 5 posts cause even though weve only been here since Febuary its been like 3 years worth of drama, espicially in the last few months.

Meet the cast:

Right next door.
The wife (we will call her Jabba): is a lazy (and I mean never leaves the couch unless its to drive to mcdonalds) rude, leech who screams at her kids and dogs ALL day.

The husband (well call him Buddy) is a young (he just turned 23) hyper and really friendly guy from New York, a bit of an ego but not the mean kind, hed give you the shirt off his back type but thinks hes invinceble.

They now have 3 kids, the eldest she had from a Marine she dated for like 4 months (he was born with a heart deffect, she lost her second child in 2006 (he died at 4 days old) he was his best friends baby (they lie to people about this including his family), the 3rd is his child (she was born with insides out) and youngest is only a month old (was born with an extra thumb). They have been married for 3 years, thier marriage started as a contract marriage, she was with his best friend, best friend got put in jail while she was a month preggo with her second child. He agreed to marry her to take care of her and the son she already had. Mind you his best friend was already married to another girl, and while his wife was home dealing with family deaths she moved into thier home and was getting him to leave her. Poor hubby was tryin to do the right thing and got caught with a whore/crazy. She treats him like crap, hasnt let him touch her in 6 months and gets pissed when he even tries to.

They have her cousin (we will call her Blue) and her cousins now fiance (just got engaged 2 weeks ago, we will call him Deer) living with them, illegally I might add.

Buddy is stationed at the same command different shop and Deer is active duty stationed on the south side of base.

Then we have the house across the street.

The wife (well call her Tatyana) is from Baltimore and is a mixture of strong and pushover. She will beat the crap out of you if you do her wrong but she will let certain people come back over and over to puch her around. Never bad intentioned but surrounds herself with people she needs to "save".

Hubby is deployed and did so like 2 weeks after we got here so I dont know him much but what I know of him hes a good guy just had a bad upbringing so he doesnt deal with things in the best manner.

They have 2 kids, one they had as teenagers (not his child because she was raped and they decided together to raise her, they do so lovingly) and another who is only 9 months old (there is a question of who the father was becuase they went through a rough patch and he cheated on her so she cheated on him and it was around this time she got preggo). They have been together for 11 years, but only married for 5 of them (broken up and gotten back together like 5 times).

Next post we will add the troublemaking friends these people bring in.

I gotta go make hot cocoa

I'll go get the popcorn! Mind if I camp out on your lawn to watch the show?

Damn though. What are the odds of your neighbor having FOUR kids all with some sort of birth defect? I hope she doesn't have any more. That neighbor alone sounds like enough to chase me out of the neighborhood, and you haven't even gotten started yet.

I'm so glad that I'm surrounded by quite old British ladies and really sweet young families who, if they argue, keep it at a low enough volume that I've never heard them.

Ok so now ill introduce the people who DONT live here but love to visit and cause issues.

First off is a couple who are friends with Tatyana.

The wife (we will call her Loco) is a 21 year old phsyco raised by a manewhoring maniac. She has several siblings (she doesnt even know how many) all from different mothers, all the mothers are drug addicted and all having been in and out of the nuthouse. Lets just say she has follow in the path she was raised in. Has 2 kids but one was taken away because of drugs and sex addiction (but she lies and says child was taken away for other reason, well get into that in a bit).

The husband (we will call him Horny) is also 21, who is the typical young horny Marine. Hes super flirtacious to EVERYONE around him and it has a tendency to get worse when drunk. But he has no ill intentions, is super nice and would do anything to make people like him.

Like I said before her first child was taken away, but they have a baby boy who is only 8 months old now. There is doubt who his daddy is becuase she got preggo with him when daddy left for Japan and she admittedly cheated before and while visited him in Japan.

Then we have Tatyanas best firend (until a few weeks ago)

We will call him Midnight. He was a Marine, got out at 4 years with PTSD and was staying with Tatyana while her hubby was in Afghanistan. Year before when her hubby cheated she got back at hubby with midnight but it was only revenge she has no feelings for him, he very obviously as feelings for her. There is a question if he is her babys father, she claims no, he claims yes. Thier relationship was odd, she hated him but felt guilty that he had no place to live and didnt want harm to come to him. He will go back and forth between living at her house, neighbors house and friends off base (we wont understand why he cant stay outside until later).

And I thought id add in my best buddy and my hubbys best buddy because they end up playing roles in some of the drama.

G is a former Marine (hes been out 5 years) who lives in San Diego. Hes a super sweet, super geek (his own words) who plays WoW with us. He is jokingly reffered to as my second husband (i have 4 btw) and I am just as close to him as my husband is.

J.A. (stands for jack ass) is a former Marine (yea for some reason all our friends ended up being Marines wether I knew them before or after I got married). Hes a really hot (think channing tatum body but 2 inches taller and bit buffer, bald head with baby blue eyes) flirt who also happens to be a closet nerd and is hillaciously smart. He loves to talk with anyone and everyone and has this awesome way of making any girl feel like a friggin Queen when he talks to her (its his "special" talent lol). He is jokingly reffered to as hubby number 4 (his brother is 3 and it pisses him off) and he is a man I love and hate. We would kill each other if we ever lived together but at the same time we would kill for each other.

Okay, so we gots players, haters, and babies. We're good to go!

All I need now is a plane ticket and a large bag of m&ms! You should publish this story into a series of books once you're done.

So ill start off before we got here. Like I said before, Buddy is stationed with DH. When we got our house number he told Buddy and they realized we were right next to each other. They planned and BBQ to welcome us to the neighborhood so we would have a chance to meet everyone. Our housing was brand new so they had only been here about 4 weeks before us.

Tatyana had moved in 2 weeks prior across the street, Buddy's family new her family because her hubby had been to Iraq with Buddy (they were in the same platoon). Her husband got word he was leaving for Afghan a week before we moved in so our welcome to the nighborhood party became a good luck and see ya later party for him.

My husband was here at the new house when our stuff was moved in, I was at the old one cleaning, so he met Buddy's wife first. When I got there he told me that I should go over and meet her but he didnt think id like her. In the 30 minutes he spent with her all she did was yell at the kids, scold her hubby and watch MTV (some reality show). I decided I would meet her at the party, 2 days later.

I went to the party with cookies for everyone and the intention of asking Tatyanas husband what his favorite was (I bake from scratch) so I could make him a batch to take on the plane (he was leaving in like 8 hours). When I walked in I was introduced to everyone by my hubby and Buddy (who I had met the night before). I offered my cookies and put them on the table. Room full of half drunk, about to deploy Marines, and they were gone in like 5 minutes. When they found out they were from scratch I was bombarded with questions and hugs. This pissed Jabba off, I didnt even know her. Tatyana then walked to my house with me to help me make cookies for her hubby (I had 3 batches in the fridge waiting, of the top 3 mixes). We spent 30 mins getting to know each other and cooking. We packed the cookies and went back over. Her hubby was elated, got up and gave me a hug and says "best neighbor and Marine wife EVER". His wife laughed and said she would learn to bake from me while he was gone, she had never been taught.

Rest of the night we all sat around drinking beer, talking and playing card games. Normal night no biggie and we went home around 1am, they kept goin but we had to be up to get the kids from my parents house early.

The next day the shit hit the fan. Jabba, who was jealous of the guys all thinking I was cool. Decided that I had tried to make a move on Tatyanas husband, she swore she saw me with him alone and that I was being touchy to other Marines who didnt even get there until after I left.

So I started off a the "whore". Tatyana knew I hadnt done anything with her husband and we ended up bonding over the crazy lies she started. Buddy came over and apologized to me for his wife and asked to keep things calm, which I agreed

This back sotry will help with the next episode.

What's the schedule! I HAVE TO KNOW when to get on here to read! lol

*pass the popcorn*

Episode 2, we kept to ourselves for about a month because of the drama we first had. Meanwhile Jabba and Buddy were having nightly fights and we were privy to the screaming and fighting all to much. One night at the end of march he came over to talk to hubby and vent, this is when we start to understand just how crazy his wife is.

Buddy worked at a bar, his side job on weekends, to make money. He made a good 250 cash every week on top of his e-5 (sgt) pay in the Corps. Apparently only one week after the start of the month they were broke, again. She had been out to dinner 4 nights in a row (without him), had been taking her family (like 5 other people) and paying for it all. She ended up doing this on almost a daily basis for 6 months straight because she was to lazy to do anything else. He was getting mad at having no money so he decided to work an extra shift at the bar. Friday nights, sautrday day and night and Sunday during the day now. She accused this increase of time at the bar on an affair. Even though he had money to show for his work, camera feed at the bar (he was security) and 5 people working there saying he was there. She would scream, yell and hit him for coming home smelling like alcohol, again he works at a bar, and because he wouldn’t give all the cash he made to her. She claimed that he had no right to withhold any of the money, he doesn’t need any. Marines are required to get haircuts every week, not mention she never got him stuff at the store (he’s not allowed to grocery shop on his own) so he could bring lunch to work so he had to buy it.

Not to mention at that point she had not let him touch her, not even a hug, for 3 months. He is not allowed to look at porn nor is he allowed to please himself (he did once and she had a hissy fit that the whole street watched since she tried to kick him out over it).

So Buddy is supposed to be a monk who works 24/7, cleans the entire house (she has been known to say its not her job) and when he’s not sleeping to be sitting right next to her waiting on her hand and foot.

My husband let him vent and told him to just stay away from her let her calm down. He didn’t want to see the MP's called out.

Over the next few weeks we ended up being referees in the battle royal that ensued. Come April I had a load of family come in for my anniversary party and I invited them all to it.

Buddy gave a toast and ended standing right next to me when we brought out the cake. DH and I smashed the cakes into each other, he made a smart ass comment and we ended up smashing the cake into him. She was livid I had touched him. The next week we didn’t see him, she had told him she didn’t like me hugging him (I hug EVERYONE).

After my family left the interesting stuff started to happen. We were at the beginning of May and Blue (jabba's cousin) wanted to go out and celebrate her getting a new job. We all decided to go to a bar called the Stampede, line dancing, mechanical bull type place mixed with occasional club music. At first it was me and my hubby, Blue and her BF Deer but Buddy decided to come. Since Jabba was pregnant she decided couldn’t go (we all told her to go) and was upset that Buddy didn’t want to stay home too. Buddy ended up drinking a LOT, well to be fair everyone except for the designated driver (Deer) did. Apparently Patron is NOT his friend. Mix extreme drunkenness with hornyness and you could see how easy it was for him to act foolish. He ended up hitting on me. I didn’t get mad, because I understood, and neither did dh, we just decided to drop it.

We all had a talk and decided we were still friends no biggy and from that time on we became super close. Buddy started hanging out with us every day, I even started making him lunches when I made DH's. We would all hang out for drinks on weekends, going back and forth between my house and Tatyanas and all meanwhile pissing his wife off because she had herself holed up in their house refusing to converse with anyone.

One night he was super drunk again, they had had another fight, so me and Tatyana decided to talk to him and calm him down. We were standing in her Garage, which is where everyone smokes when at her house, her baby started to cry and she went upstairs. Less then a minute later his wife comes busting in the door yelling at him to walk home. He goes with her and as they are walking across the street I can hear her saying "I cant believe you let that slut touch you, I know she was just giving you a blow job, how nice to ruin our marriage in front of the whole neighborhood". I start to get PISSED, I didn’t touch him, I was sitting down and he was back by the door standing, we were a few feet away from each other.

I walked inside told Tatyana what was happening and decided to go home. As I’m walking home I see her in the driveway yelling at him through the window, he’s inside, and trying to open his car to pull wires so he cant drive away. She looks at me and calls me a slut, I go off. I tell her she’s crazy, I’ve never touched her husband, if I wanted him I would have had him and wouldn’t have had any issue telling her so. How dare her say I did something I didn’t do, she may have trust issues with him but don’t bring me into her delusional world. I went home.

About 20 minutes later I hear screaming from Tatyana and Jabba. Buddy had passed out on his bedroom floor. I ran inside to see if he needed help. I walk in as they are dragging him to the bathroom. I’m climbing the stairs saying "don’t move him, you could do more damage" she responds with "I don’t give a crap, he deserves it". She lifted him and dropped him, head first, into the tub and turned the shower on cold. She then left the room and sat in front of her computer in the hallway. Tatyana and I went into the bathroom to check on him, it took him a few minutes and he woke up but couldn’t feel anything from the neck down, nor could he move it. I tell Tatyana to stay with him and I leave to get my husband. Tatyana is telling Jabba what’s going on as I’m leaving and she says "Yea So, I don’t care"

I come back with my DH and he checks Buddy, taps his back arms legs and still no feeling. Buddy can barely talk and is having a hard time breathing so we diced to move him from the tub because he was in an odd position. They had an extra mattress in the closet and Tatyana and I pulled it out put it in the hall way, put towels on it and then we all three lifted him carefully and put him flat on it. All while she sat there laughing and talking on IM with her friend. After a minute he started to feel tingling so we figured he had just pinched the nerve because of the way he was dropped and told him to lay there for an hour or so and he would get better. I took about 45 mins for him to regain feeling and another half hour until he could walk. We all tried to get him to go to the hospital but she kept telling him if he did she would leave with the kids and never come back.

I ended up talking with her, trying to get her to stop for at least the night, after an hour of bullshit she finally said fine and went to her room and left him alone for the rest of the night.

apparently forumup's webmasters dont think this is an appropriate topic..so i have to make it private. let me figure out how..they are sending me emails saying this thread violates their terms of service..

ok i guess admin will have to. i dont have the power.

maybe the cursing?

I can remove the cursing if you want?

it cant be the cursing. we've cursed for years. and it's only this thread they've emailed me THREE times about. ill ask admin to look into it.

maybe thier worried about it being about real people, but i changed names and such, hmm